perchance, to dream. . .

Attribution: arnie2105, Wikimedia Commons

Attribution: arnie2105, Wikimedia Commons

And so we wait.

The internet is forever. Ergo, anything I post on this little blog is etched in proverbial stone and I, writer of odd little novels looking for a home, officially and forever render myself just a little bit more, every time I pick up the proverbial pen and add to it.

I’ve been thinking about whether it’s savvy or folly to do that at this stage of the game. I don’t know but I guess the point is moot, as it looks like I’m doing it anyway.

Right now, I’m in a holding pattern relative to CHERRY and EFFIN’ ALBERT. I’ve revised the former, which is currently being read, or soon will be. I trust the readers implicitly. Hopefully, my revisions will past muster, giving me the green light to send the ms off to the two editors who requested the full, way back when.

The latter novel is being considered by a literary agency in London right now, under a 30-day exclusive which is rapidly drawing to a close. Something is going to break; sooner now, rather than later. In the interim, I’ve set my course, publically reporting my efforts and the results in posts on this blog. I didn’t have to do that, nobody forced me to do that, but I did it. I can’t erase it. I’m committed to following this process to its inevitable conclusion, whatever that may be.

I’ve been running various possible scenarios, imagining different answers to that omnipresent question lurking in the back of my mind: What if? Trying to stay positive, keep my dreams afloat; cast good thoughts to the wind on the outside chance that I can actually influence my fate. And when tendrils of doubt wrap around my quivering heart, I pry them off and heave them out the window. But I know they’ll be back.

It’s tough. Tough waiting, tougher yet because neither success nor disappointment is guaranteed. How does one prepare oneself for such dichotomous eventualities? And meanwhile, I share my trepidations on this little blog. I could keep my trap shut and maybe I should, but I ain’t gonna. It’ll play out and I’ll write about it, keep the story going because that’s what we writers do.

Even when we don’t know how it ends.

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4 thoughts on “perchance, to dream. . .

  1. It’s easy to get in an anticipation-hold mode but I’ve learnEd to keep on with life :). Best of to you and may you enjoy every moment in your waiting.

  2. I know some industry people say exclusives suck, but in a way, I feel like an exclusive is an exciting opportunity! Fingers crossed for you, in both and all endeavors!

    I get what it means when it comes to making all of this public. It’s hard to know what to blog about and what to leave alone.

    • Jen, I’ve heard that, too. But I understand their reasoning and 30 days is reasonable to me. And I, like you, can’t help but think it’s a good thing, in that the agency is interested enough in my novel to give the thing a whirl, based on a query and the first 50 pages. They saw something they liked, that can’t be a bad thing.

      Going the public route is chancy, I know. I try to keep names and such off the books, except in the case of well-known folk like Chuck Wendig, Elmore Leonard, or Janet Reid. They are public figures already. But agents and editors who correspond with me personally, friends who help me, people I know or have had contact with, I shall endeavor to keep their identities under wraps, at least until something official happens, when and if. This is my writing blog, and I want it to retain a sense of decorum. I’m not going to betray anybody’s trust on this forum,
      knowing that once something is out there, I’d play hell yanking it back.

      Thank you for swinging by, Jen. Carry on, madam.

      -kk

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