And so we wait.
The internet is forever. Ergo, anything I post on this little blog is etched in proverbial stone and I, writer of odd little novels looking for a home, officially and forever render myself just a little bit more, every time I pick up the proverbial pen and add to it.
I’ve been thinking about whether it’s savvy or folly to do that at this stage of the game. I don’t know but I guess the point is moot, as it looks like I’m doing it anyway.
Right now, I’m in a holding pattern relative to CHERRY and EFFIN’ ALBERT. I’ve revised the former, which is currently being read, or soon will be. I trust the readers implicitly. Hopefully, my revisions will past muster, giving me the green light to send the ms off to the two editors who requested the full, way back when.
The latter novel is being considered by a literary agency in London right now, under a 30-day exclusive which is rapidly drawing to a close. Something is going to break; sooner now, rather than later. In the interim, I’ve set my course, publically reporting my efforts and the results in posts on this blog. I didn’t have to do that, nobody forced me to do that, but I did it. I can’t erase it. I’m committed to following this process to its inevitable conclusion, whatever that may be.
I’ve been running various possible scenarios, imagining different answers to that omnipresent question lurking in the back of my mind: What if? Trying to stay positive, keep my dreams afloat; cast good thoughts to the wind on the outside chance that I can actually influence my fate. And when tendrils of doubt wrap around my quivering heart, I pry them off and heave them out the window. But I know they’ll be back.
It’s tough. Tough waiting, tougher yet because neither success nor disappointment is guaranteed. How does one prepare oneself for such dichotomous eventualities? And meanwhile, I share my trepidations on this little blog. I could keep my trap shut and maybe I should, but I ain’t gonna. It’ll play out and I’ll write about it, keep the story going because that’s what we writers do.
Even when we don’t know how it ends.