kk’s LASERBEAM of DOOM

giphy rainbow unicorn

Before I skewer my unsuspecting target with my sooper dooper LASERBEAM of DOOM, I need to get something off my chest. It concerns Crazyman, aka Donald Trump, who was actually the original focus of this post.

In fact, I just now deleted said post. Why? Supersaturation. Too much. NO MAS.

:p

All right, just one more thing about the guy and then I’ll stop: People are wondering when/if Trump will ‘stick to the script,’ aka ‘read the teleprompter,’ so he’ll come across as ‘more presidential,’ aka, ‘less like a horse’s ass and/or raving lunatic.’ To those people I have to say the following:

ARE YOU EFFING SERIOUS??? WE’VE SEEN “THE REAL DONALD TRUMP” FOR MONTHS AND MONTHS AND MONTHS NOW. READING FROM A TELEPROMPTER WON’T CHANGE WHO AND WHAT HE IS. ANYTHING TRUMP SAYS OR DOES FROM THIS POINT FORWARD WILL NEVER NEGATE WHAT HE’S ALREADY SAID AND DONE. 

ENOUGH.

*deep breath*

Switching gears now…

stephen king quote

Well said, Mr. King.

I greatly admire Stephen King, and I trust most of his writerly advice. In fact, I endeavor to do what he suggests: I write a lot, and I read a lot.

Of course, when you do anything a lot, not everything you do is going to be stellar. Which means I sometimes write crap, and I sometimes read crap . . . like King’s UNDER THE DOME. I found the novel to be bloated and self-indulgent to the point of no mas.

Then again, THE STAND was a really good read. I thoroughly enjoyed it.

Unfortunately, I can’t say the same for the novel I’m currently ‘reading,’ aka ‘slogging through’: WICKED WAYS, written by Lisa Jackson and also, Nancy Bush (whom I believe is her sister). For me, the process of getting through this novel (I’m maybe 40 pages from the end) has proven to be an almost herculean effort on my part. WICKED WAYS is an incredibly tedious and frustrating read. Tedious, because the author (I’m calling out Jackson here, as her name is prominent on the cover) has written a tedious novel about a bunch of characters I don’t enjoy spending time with. And frustrating, because the book is SO POORLY WRITTEN as to be almost laughable, and yet, it’s written by a NYT best-selling author. . .

How can that  be?

Before I answer that, another question: Is it poor form for a writer to call out a fellow writer this way? I’m thinking now how I would feel if some unpublished hack did the same to me.

Although, chances are

  1.  I wouldn’t be reading said unpublished hack’s little blog with its tiny little audience anyway, and
  2.  As a professional writer, I’d take negative reviews with a grain of salt, realizing that readers respond to writing subjectively, and have every right to do so.

Back to skewering with kk’s Laserbeam of Doom: I checked the reviews for WICKED WAYS on Goodreads ( http://www.goodreads.com/book/show/20949512-wicked-ways ), just in case I was way off base here. The results surprised me: of 1054 ratings for the novel, nearly one-quarter–254 people–rated it 5 stars. Just five percent (54 readers) gave it one star, which begs the question:

What the HELL were those 254 people reading??? 

Here are snippets from four Goodreads reviews:

Elizabeth is a great character, but a bit wimpy. She always seems to be crying about something or worrying about something… (snip) I really was not to fond of her daughter, Chloe. She acted like a spoiled brat most of the time and it angered me every time Elizabeth gave into her.

 

I enjoyed this book. I did feel that Elizabeth was kind of plain and boring.

 

I tried to finish this book but when the author made the highly unnecessary sentence “they got out of the car using opposite doors” really? No, I thought they clambered out of the same door -.- I just couldn’t do it anymore.

 

Gave up halfway through. Terrible writing, boring characters and a waste of time.

That last review pretty much echos mine, except for the fact that I’m still reading the damn thing.  And here’s a little tidbit for you: those first two snippets are from 5-star reviews. Go figure.

So what’s the point of skewering this particular novel? It’s not a classic by any stretch, but then, it never claimed to be. And, as the fourth in a series, it’s far from being a bust for the author(s). In fact, the majority of Goodreads reviewers really seemed to enjoy WICKED WAYS, which makes me wonder if this could possibly be a case of sour grapes on my part. I mean, here I am trying to get another agent/get my stuff published/write the best novels I can, and there she is. . .

I admit it: there’s a bad taste in my mouth right now, but not because I’m in any way jealous–scratch that. I’m a little jealous. Hence, my frustration, but only because I know poor writing when I see it, and there’s an awful lot of poor writing in that novel.

And yet, who’s the unpublished sap still reading that damn book, and who’s the NYT best-selling author laughing all the way to the bank? Yep, kk’s Laserbeam of Doom is primed for action.

Guess who’s getting the shaft.

🙂

 

 

 

 

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5 thoughts on “kk’s LASERBEAM of DOOM

  1. Sigh. Once again, you took the words right outta my mouth. And now I’ll be singing Meatloaf all day. 😉 Trump is who he is, and his supporters aren’t going to wake up because they are awake. They either don’t care how outrageous he is, or they love him for it.
    As to published novels and well published authors. I haven’t read Wicked Ways (or anything else by the author), but I’ve read quite a few books that left me ready to weep this year. Some because they were so beautiful and beautifully written, and an equal number because I will never, ever “get it.” The “it” being what tickles the fancy of the publishing industry–to be flip–but really, it’s about $. It’s about agents and editors looking at a manuscript and saying yes! We can make dollars off of this one. It’s what makes “them” decide this that I often don’t get at all, as I read and think, “really?” I also don’t get what makes anyone support Donald Trump, so perhaps I’m just all around clueless.
    You need encouragement, the reminder that you are good, your writing is excellent, and you can do this. ❤

    • As for Trump and all that, maybe we just need to keep the faith as we ride out this particular orange wave. As to where it takes us, your guess is as good as mine.

      As for writing and all that, I bitch and moan and cry and whine, then I read your post to me and all is right with the world. 1,000 more words under my belt doesn’t hurt either. 🙂

      Like I said before, go figure. We’ll be clueless together, mrs fringe. Coffee in the morning. Tomorrow is another day. ❤

      xoxo Karen

  2. I’ve managed to reverse psychology myself into a “good for them” and hopeful feeling when bad books are published. It means I have hope. Right? Right.

    (and I love the Unicorn gif)

    • I like that idea, Jen. And maybe you’re right. I have to try that. It sure beats my alternative.

      As for the Unicorn, I kept looking at him for inspiration and what do you think? Which proves, once again, that miracles happen every day.

      ❤ kk

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