#pitmad today, baby. Writers tweeting desperation and I’m there, trying to rise above the masses, omg. Checking my notification thingie every five seconds, did anybody–read: AGENT–*favorite* me? Not yet but that’s okay, I can do this, 140 characters please somebody, TAKE A CHANCE, C’MON. . .
That’s right, that’s right. Retweet me, don’t delete me. Don’t report me! I’m trying my darndest here. 189 tweets since I last checked–when was that, five minutes ago? I’m tweeting, hang on. . .
Mike and Albert know Mom’s new boyfriend kills kids. They have to stop that fucker; just gotta stay alive long enough to do it. #pitmad #A
I swore, oh shit. Don’t wanna piss off the powers that be.
attribution: Andy Dingley
I’m sorry, I’m sorry!
Let’s try again–
6 y/o Albert gets visions, sees Mom’s new boyfriend kill that girl. Mikie says they gonna stop that fucker even if he is a cop. #pitmad #A
RATS. It’s still there. I have to rethink my Twitter pitch, dammit. Lest I’m cast aside for my literary transgressions. . .
attribution: Pedro Sánchez
How’s this? “Selfish, miserable prick falls for sweet, naïve male hooker Cherry. Damn kid, so endearing so why is he hell-bent on killing himself? #pitmad #A“
OY. Danger, Will Robinson. Nobody’s biting. So why do I feel so vulnerable? Or maybe that’s the reason, huh? They’re lurking, right out of reach. . .
attribution: Infrogmation of New Orleans
Young male hooker Cherry’s sweet but suicidal. Shit, Dave–how can you help that messed up kid when you can’t even help yourself? #pitmad #A
I need a road map, something to guide me during this insane #pitmad business. What’s the Twitter count now? 209 and I last checked what, two minutes ago??????? I’m tanking here. . .
Wait, I feel a burst of inspiration. . .
Mom’s new boyfriend is a cop w/ a secret. She’s buried in the woods behind the Super-K. Two brothers try to stop a killer. . . #pitmad #A
How do you stop a messed-up gay prostitute who wants to be with his dead mother? How do you stop yourself from loving him? #pitmad #A
Why should a selfish prick try to save a sweet, messed-up, suicidal hooker? Because Cherry loves you, Dave. You’re both screwed. #pitmad #A
Sweet hooker Cherry’s hell-bent on suicide; selfish prick Dave’s trying to stop him. Hell, Dave–you’re more effed up than he is. #pitmad #A
Mom’s new boyfriend is a cop w/ a secret. She’s buried in the woods behind the Super-K. Two young brothers try to stop a killer. #pitmad #A
He’s a cop w/ a secret: she’s buried in the woods behind the Super-K. No way will he let two prick kids fuck up a good thing. #pitmad #A
6-year-old boy gets visions–like Mom’s new cop boyfriend killing that little girl. It was supposed to be a secret. . . #pitmad #A
229 and counting. . .AAARRRRRGGGGHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
299 and I can’t seem to stop. . .