Hot Poop

800px-Hot_Poop_(4498710537)  Ryan Dickey from Los Angeles, United States
Photo attribution: Ryan Dickey, L.A., CA (Wikimedia Commons

Get your scoops, folks! I’m shoveling up some hot poop for you today!

Back story on that: being as I’m tuckered out due to circumstances way beyond my control (let’s just say a lobotomy would’ve been preferable to the painful indignities I suffered last night), I’ve decided to give my brain cells a rest and instead, offer up some tasty tidbits for perusal, should you be so inclined.

Let’s get right to it, shall we?

First order of business: I invite you to check out my revamped home page, containing stuff you may be wondering about. Or not.

😉

Second: I just checked my stats. As of this moment, I’ve written 64 posts (!!!). Cooler than that: I now have 51 followers (!!!)

Wow. I’m really surprised, happy, grateful. And a little confused. Since starting this blog, there have been 1,294 instances of spam (!!!), and 300 ham thingies. Spam = bad, I know that. Ham = good, I think.

Third order of business: It’s really windy and cold here in S.E. Michigan this afternoon. I saw my first snow falling today!!! Swirling around, skipping and dancing, sticking to the grass!!! Coming down pretty good, then it stopped and got sunny and now it’s clouding up again. What do they say about Michigan weather? Blah blah, wait five minutes, blah blah. I shall spare you the particulars.

Fourth: I’ve been thinking.

Right there, your radar should’ve jumped from “FEELING MELLOW” to “HIGH ALERT” status. Anyhoo, the wonderful mrs fringe, http://mrsfringe.wordpress.com/, has a blog. She recently posted a piece of her fiction; really impressive writing, you guys. Anyway, I figure what the heck? So, if anybody is morbidly curious about kkellie’s writing, may I present the following small excerpts plucked from my first three novels (more to follow, another day (unless the rousing consensus is NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!)
🙂

* * *

GINGERSNAP: And there you have it, folks: yet another example of colossally bad writing by the illustrious Mary Allen. I refer to the irritating amalgam of absurdity and verbosity I just now wrote, although I see how one might have thought I was referring to The Desert of Lost Hope, another bit of ludicrous drivel, made worse (if that’s possible) by that ridiculous, ripped-off ending—

* * *

TWINK: “Fine,” I said again. “You want to know what happened? I’ll tell you what happened: I drank too much and smoked too much and got wasted. Then, I tried coke for the first time in my life and got two-zoned, waxed, totally fucked-up. Somehow, I wound up in the basement on a couch. I don’t how I got there but I woke up and Asshole’s standing over me, laughing and pouring beer in my face.”
“Asshole, meaning John Sinclair?”
“Right, that asshole.”
“That wasn’t very nice of him,” Kione said.
“You’re right, it wasn’t.”

* * *

MY FRIEND MIKE: Blondie said, “You don’t remember the incident at all, huh?”
“No,” I said.
“But you know what I’m referring to, right?”
“Yes.”
“For the record, tell me what that is.”
I looked at Steve. “Go ahead,” he said.
“They say I killed somebody.”
“Who?” asked Brownie.
“You mean, who says?”
Brownie and Blondie exchanged glances. “No,” Brownie said. He leaned forward, just a little but I saw it. “I mean, who’d you kill, Beth?”

* * *

THE END. 🙂

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5 thoughts on “Hot Poop

  1. Nice, I like the excerpt idea. And I’m getting very intrigued by My Friend Mike. Hmmm.

    I’m not surprised by your followers. You’re an excellent writer, kk. ❤

    I hope tonight is a much, much better night for you. For future reference, I recommend Hot Tuna over Hot Poop. Cause, that's how I roll, a hippie dippie musical reference for everything 😉

    And thank you!!!!!!!

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