Here we go again. . .

450px-Rollercoaster_expedition_geforce_holiday_park_germany

Querying is kind of like riding a roller coaster: up and down, up and down. Anticipation, exhilaration but first, you have to wait.

And wait. And wait. And wait. Sometimes you have to really effin’ wait. Meanwhile, you try to keep your mind off the fact that it’s out of your hands. Somebody else has your query and first ten pages, or synopsis, or first fifty pages if you’re lucky. Somebody, a literary agent maybe, or a publisher, holds your future in their hands. Or they’ve tucked it in their slush pile.

And you aren’t the only one waiting to hear something. Not by a long shot. Not even close.

So you cross your fingers and wait.

Right now, I’m in line like a thousand other dedicated schmucks who wrote something they think is decent, or more than decent, and now they’re waiting for their shot. I imagine I’m in line at Cedar Point, waiting to ride the Gemini. Trying not to think about what’s coming, what it’s going to feel like but I can’t help but think about it because I look up and SEE those who’ve already made it. They did it or they’re doing it right now. I see them up there, flying high, living the dream and I think, kk, that’s you, girl, not today but someday it will be, maybe. . .

Yep, me and a thousand other schmucks dreaming the dream. But somebody else holds our tickets right now. Whether or not we go on that wild ride is out of our hands now. All we can do is hope and pray they’ll come through for us, deem our novels worthy. Take us under their wings. . .

Oy.

I’m writing this because yesterday I heard from a certain literary agent I’d queried back in June. It started with a tweet. This agent had tweeted a wish list, the types of novels she was hoping to see and somebody from Absolute Write wrote to me: Hey, kk, sounds like she’s talking to you. So I sent my query and first ten pgs. of CHERRY per posted guidelines and by God, I heard back from her, like the very next day: Send me the synopsis and first fifty pages.

Talk about exhilaration. Anticipation. I was so happy and excited! Of course, it was a crap shoot, always is. CHERRY’s not for everybody, it’s something else, to put it mildly. And as the days and weeks and months went by, I kind of resigned myself to the probability that she most likely read it and took a pass. I did keep a tiny, shriveled nugget of hope in my pocket, because we writers tend to do that. When we’re not doubting ourselves and our writing, when we aren’t telling ourselves we suck, we’re feeling that little shriveled nugget of hope, caressing it with sticky fingers, sticky from all the damn chocolate we ate because, you know, we SUCK

😉

And then yesterday, by God, I get that email. Sorry it took so long, she wrote, it’s been so busy. She appreciated my patience (!!!!). She read the first fifty pages of CHERRY and wanted to read the full, so please–she wrote–if it hasn’t been picked up yet (!!!!), send me the full.

OMG. Maybe this is it. Maybe not, but hey, there’s a chance, right? There’s always a chance. Anticipation. Exhilaration. I don’t know what’s going to happen, maybe nothing. But maybe something great. It’s possible, right?

Lord help me, here we go again.

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11 thoughts on “Here we go again. . .

  1. I hate roller coasters, but this writing ride…yeah. I can’t get myself off the line. kk, I’m wishing you the very, very best. Maybe this agent will be the one, I hope so, maybe (s)he won’t, but you WILL get there. Because cream rises. xoxo

  2. Waiting is definitely the tough part. I went the agent route for a while but it didn’t work out for me so submitted to publishers directly. I waited 8 months before finally contacting one publisher to find out if my manuscript was in the round filing cabinet or what. They said, no, they were just waiting for the editorial staff to give the okay to buy it! Got the call a week later.
    All the best and try not to go crazy or bite your nails off until you hear back. 🙂

  3. Gemini? GEMINI?? How about Millennium Force? This is a ride, kk. You’re at the top of that first hill. You’ve chugged up and that last little lurch at the top? that part when, if you’re in the front car, you’re hanging on the downhill side, hanging there, just…hanging, looking down that hill and you can’t even see the bottom because it’s so steep and you know such a rush is coming, you just don’t know when. But you know. Those of us in line behind you, who haven’t gotten to the boarding station yet…we’re watching, and experiencing the ride vicariously. Put your hands up, kk. You deserve it.

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