Huh.

Attribution: Nerva, Wikimedia Commons

Attribution: Nerva, Wikimedia Commons

Yikes, look at you.

I wrote you, little novel. Fifty-one chapters, or is it fifty-two? Over 71k words, I know that much, which means I exceeded my word count goal for you. Your Draft One was finished before November first, another goal reached. I sent you off to four betas and now. . .

So, ummm. . .

Took me nearly a year to hammer you out, forged with blood and sweat, baptized with an ocean of tears, you magnificent thing. . . what do I do with you now?

You’re done but not done; good, but not good enough, well-written but not quite wrought and meanwhile, the clock is ticking and you’re not going to write yourself which means I have to actually *do* something to you. Change you. Develop you but I don’t know if I have what it takes. . .

Bullshit. Yes I do. I just have to, you know, DO, ahhh . . . whatever.

And there you sit, waiting on me. You magnificent, unfinished thing. My saving grace, my albatross. My shiny little novel, I have to work on you but you seem so daunting right now. Almost like, if I fuck with you, I’m going to get fucked.

Burned.

Published.

Huh.

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7 thoughts on “Huh.

  1. All rightie, then. Since you aren’t letting yourself relax and take a break, use NaNo to work on the second draft.

    You DO have what it takes, I know you do, and you do too. You’re nervous, because you want it to be perfection. Fuck that. Make it the best you can make it. Not perfect, but perfectly human.

  2. I am incorrigible, mrs fringe. Surely you realize that by now. This blog post is me at my most, ahhh . .

    mrs fringe, you know me too well. I felt the tug of NaNo, thinking maybe . . . but I won’t. I shall be revising ALBERT, just like you said, aiming for perfection which isn’t attainable but I’ll try, I’ll try my best and yes, I shall keep it human, mrs fringe. Achingly so.

    I owe those kids that much.

    ❤ kk

  3. Keep on keeping on. Put it aside, reread it in about two weeks or so. I bet you’ll like most of what you’ve written.

    • Anne, hi! I like most of it now. Which is crazy but. . . maybe that’s the problem, I fell in love with the story and now I have to fix it, which implies it was broken. Which it isn’t. Just arranged wrong in places, a couple of pieces missing from the puzzle. A little tweaking here, erasing there and adding a bit of clay, fleshing our the characters. Not a complete overhaul. . .

      I’ll get it done. Are you a writer, Anne? Not that it matters, I still want to thank you for the kind words and for visiting my little corner here in cyberspace. Hope you visit again.

      -kk

    • No NaNo! NaNo + kkellie = bad idea! kkellie no write novel in November, no want to, Jen can’t make her! That’s kkellie’s story and she’s sticking to it!

      🙂

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