I woke up this morning, went pee, started the coffee and then I checked the bucket, my blue bucket where Willie 2 the Caterpillar-turned-Pupa Thingie has been hanging out in suspended animation for the last fourteen days. This morning, 5:05 a.m. EST, I saw Willie the Butterfly.
What a great way to start my day! Anyhoo, I lifted the stick out of there and let Willie crawl onto my hand and damn if that little guy started crawling up my arm, I’m trying to maneuver myself out the side door and he’s up to my elbow and climbing and I’m thinking, Do not fly right now because Max is RIGHT HERE, oh man if you land anywhere near that cat you’re toast. . .
He didn’t, which was really good. So I made my way outside, still dark out btw, padded across the damp backyard grass to our Rose of Sharon bush and got Willie onto my hand again, then onto a branch and as of a couple of minutes ago he’s still there, drying his wings. Or hers, doesn’t matter. Beautiful, beautiful butterfly. The photo above is of another Willie I raised. I was gonna try to snap a pic of this one and wouldn’t you know it? “Battery empty.” Such is life in the big city speaking of which, our neighbor next door gave mr kk another little Willie yesterday (that sounds kinda wrong) not a tenth of an inch long. He found him on the dill. So I guess I’m raising Willie 3 now.
All right, so. On to other nifty stuff:
OH, AbsoluteWrite!!!!! http://absolutewrite.com/forums/index.php If you are a writer and you haven’t found Aye-Dub yet, you have to go there. It’s unbelievable. Actually, I’ve become close to some of the writers there, they’ve read my stuff, I’ve read theirs, we help each other blah blah. Three are in Great Britain, one’s in South Africa, one’s in Manhattan. . . unreal. I can’t tell you how much you can learn at AbsoluteWrite, how much information is available, I highly recommend it. Where else are you gonna find threads like Would you have to cut through bone to cut off a hand? and How fast does dry, dead flesh burn? (Story Research forum).
I found this crazy-ass website: http://thebadwebsite.com/ Put out by this guy, I think his name is Rand Wilson. Very cool, funny. There’s a Q & A section, one interview is titled, I dated a serial killer and lived! Here’s an excerpt:
Well, go on. You were dating Ted Bundy, and — Then what? He tried to kill you, didn’t he?
SANDRA: he was always very polite.
I don’t trust him already.
The guy’s hilarious. You should check it out, seriously.
BLOGS: Holy crap, you know what’s weird about having a blog? I mean, besides having a blog? 😉 Sometimes people ‘like’ your post or whatever, and sometimes you check ’em out, see who the hell this person is, and you wind up finding a killer blog you would have never otherwise found. Cases in point:
Chuck Wendig’s blog: http://terribleminds.com/ramble/blog/ Turns out Chuck Wendig knows one of the editors who has CHERRY right now, so small world. Anyway, he’s a writer, let me see. . .
Imagine the reader there in front of you, reading. Imagine when they’ll put it down. Look for those places where they’ll be all, nah fuck it I got a frozen burrito with my name on it no I mean literally I wrote my name on it in Sharpie. Look for the parts where they’re pumping their fists and clenching their rosebuds and saying fuck yeah this is what I’m talking about, I can eat that stupid fucking burrito later.
Picture them right there.
And tell the story to them as if you might lose them at any moment.
Then there’s this: http://sophoxymoria.wordpress.com/ Where do I start? This 29 y/o guy from CA writes this crazy blog, part poetry, part existential/philosophic ramblings, part drug-induced I don’t know what. He titles his latest blog post (August 2, 2013) Eckhart Tolle, Amilius and Edibles. Here’s a taste:
my wife has been reading me this Eckhart Tolle book “A New Earth”
It works out pretty well
I can ensure she educates herself while I can just sit back and relax
there are some pretty interesting concepts in the book
first of all
YOU ARE NOT THE VOICE IN YOUR HEAD
are you fucking kidding me?
I’ve been taking advice from this dumb mother fucker this whole time
Its really strange
like, you do have poles you know?
you do have an angel and a devil on each shoulder
the only problem is…
they both sound identical
its like the angel and the devil have to run up to the secretary in your head
the angels all “delores, you gotta fax my shit right now. I’m proposing we DO CRUNCHES!”
and the devils all “D, fax mine first and i’ll fuck the living shit out of you.”
by the time the message gets to your head
or whoever’s running shit up there
it sounds like Ben Stein reading one of those Amber Alert boards that threaten you
how much easier would life be if your angel sounded like Glenda from Oz
and the devil sounded like Eric Cartman
now I come up with an idea and im like “thats the best you idiots could do?”
I think this is how people start hating themselves
they feel slightly disconnected
actually see the reality that they’ve created
and then they’re like, “look at you, sitting there, all… fat.”
It is kinda weird
like we are all the God’s of our bodies
we are the voice up top that sits in approval
and all our organs are sending up white flags
our livers are like “dear god! im fucking dying here!”
we need MSG lol
Amazing. Seriously, I love this guy.
Anyhoo, that’s just the tip of the iceberg OH! I wanted to mention one last thingie. Mr kk is a reader, voracious. So he was reading this novel a while back and came across a word he wasn’t familiar with, which is rare for him. Hey babycakes, he says, can you look up a word online for me? (‘Cause he’s a luddite worse than I am.)
Sure thing, sweet cheeks, I replied.
The word was “merkin.” So I googled “merkin”. Holy SHIT we had no effing clue.
merkin —n. 1. an artificial hairpiece for the pudendum; a pubic wig.
That’s pubic, not public. I thought WHA? So I googled “merkin” and clicked ‘images.’ WHOA. If you dare, you can check ’em out but I’m warning you. . . *WARNING WARNING WARNING: X-rated, not really but you may want to cover the eyes of anybody under the age of like, fifty-two* : https://www.google.com/search?q=merkin&rls=com.microsoft:en-us:IE-SearchBox&rlz=1I7PRFB_enUS467&source=lnms&tbm=isch&sa=X&ei=E4f_UY-NKsmMygH50YEw&ved=0CAkQ_AUoAQ&biw=987&bih=521
That’s some seriously crazy shit right there.